Thursday, October 27, 2005

Hiatus

Dear Readers,

We apologize for our sudden absence from our daily sass. Our "real life" has become extremely busy and we have chosen to put the blog on hold rather than post crap that we're not proud of. We will return in December for our one-year anniversary. In the meantime, please peruse our archives, CJ, and MN Speak for your gossip needs. We are very sorry.

Love,
Slanderous Minneapolis

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

October 4, 2005



Dear Readers,

Due to a busy schedule, Slanderous Minneapolis will be on a brief fall hiatus this week. Please enjoy the last days of warm weather and join us next week.

Love,

Slanderous Minneapolis

Friday, September 30, 2005

September 30, 2005

Slander Edition Friday



Last night, we had drinks with a local traffic reporter (like the old Judith Miller, we will not reveal our source). We blew our entire stipend for the month on getting this person trashed, just to get hot gossip for all of you. Where does this stipend come from, you ask? Why, Don Shelby of course. Notice we never write anything bad about him... That's not a coincidence (and Don, if you have a chance, we still need our mileage reimbursed from that pashmina shawl we bought yesterday- thanks!).

Anyway, after about five Summits, this traffic reporter began reporting on more than just the conditions of 35W. In fact, they let us in on a little secret: they are having a wild affair with Rick Kupchella. Our source revealed that they often made up fake traffic reports to ensure clearer roadways so that these lovers could rendevous, often under bridges in the vicinity of Highway 100 and 394.

Our source also revealed that Amelia Santaniello is a very bad driver and has run over five dogs in the month of September alone. For shame!

So, if you see this source around town, offer them some liquor and report back on whether or not you get any dirt.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

September 28, 2005

Slander Patrol



Today's edition of Slander Patrol investigates the news team over at Kare 11.

KARE 11



We have found two separate Julie Nelson's in the MN Criminals database. One was arrested for Unemployment Benefits-Offenses and one for forgery. We're not saying that either of these are KARE's Julie Nelson for sure, but if we were you, we wouldn't be taking any checks from her.



Again, we're not guaranteeing that this is the Eric Perkins, but we found an Eric Perkins who was convicted of a 4th degree drug charge, which in the State of Minnesota, means the sale of cocaine. We knew that this guy seemed wayyyyy to hyper.

Friday, September 23, 2005

September 23, 2005

Slander Edition Friday

Slander, libel, etc. to follow:



* During Wednesday night's storm, Star Tribune gossip columnist CJ was seen prancing around outside in a Burberry raincoat, stealing small dogs from people's front lawns.

* The entire cast of Northwest Community Television's "Christ for the World Ministries" does not, in fact, believe in Christ. Rather, they choose to worship a more powerful god, known as "meth."

* Vikings' coach Mike Tice is such a douchebag that he actually sleeps with a piece of astro-turf underneath his pillow at night. His wife sleeps with a handgun under hers.

* KARE 11's Julie Nelson was seen at Red Stone groping Kirby Puckett in a bathroom stall. For shame!!

Thursday, September 22, 2005

September 22, 2005



Given that the majority of our readership is without power right now, we feel it would be wise not to post. We hope that everybody is okay.

Love,
Slanderous Minneapolis

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Septemeber 21, 2005

Hotdish Fiesta



In honor of Mexican Independence Day, which took place on September 16th, we have decided to give you a special spicy hotdish. Its not very authentic, but really, what is in Minnesota?

Mexican Hotdish

- 3 to 4 cups cooked diced chicken
- 16 ounces shredded or cubed Velveeta
- 2 cans cream of chicken soup
- 1 can diced tomatoes and green chilies, undrained
- 1 cup chopped onion
- 1 small can mild green chile peppers (exclude if you are from outside the Twin Cities as the spice may kill you and others)
- 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1/4 teaspoon salt- 1/4 teaspoon pepper
- 1 package Doritos or other trashy nacho snack chip

In a large bowl, combine chicken, cheese, soup, tomatoes, green chiles, onion, and seasonings; mix well. Crush chips and mix all but one cup into the mixture. Spoon into hotdish pan and top with remaining Doritos. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes or until your kitchen starts to smell like Chi-Chi's. Invite your pastor over and start doing tequila shots, because you're in for a heck of a fiesta.